Take Me As I Am

The title of this entry is an invitation rather than a challenge.

It is a gift beyond measure to have someone in your life who loves you just as you are. Free of disapproval or the fear of being a disappointment, you are free to unfold into the uniquely divine human being you came here to be.

As a child, my father was stationed at Walker AFB, New Mexico (Roswell). And before you wonder, it was well after the UFO’s landed so that was not the way I arrived on the planet (though it has come up more than once in my lifetime)!

I remember that my mother and her friends wore dresses or skirts most of the time. My mother was a beautiful red head – dark red, thick hair. One day I stood near her in our front yard as she chatted with a neighbor. The attention of the woman turned to me and I felt very uncomfortable. I was an extremely shy and quiet child. My mother never shamed me for that; she simply accepted me. That day, I moved closer to her and stood almost behind her. She silently took the side of her full skirt and wrapped it around me, letting me hide in the folds of her dress. I felt safe.

Over time I learned to come out of my shell, to be social in spite of my innate shyness. I loved meeting people and going new places but it took effort to relax into those situations. As a young military wife, I could “work the room” with the best of them keeping the shy girl safely inside.

To this day, I am internally awkward and anxious in new places and situations. People are shocked when they here me say, “By nature, I am very shy.” Many have laughed and refused my truth, insisting that I am joking.

It is not a joke; it is my truth. I still stop before going into a new place, especially if I am alone. I take a slow breath and remember being sheltered in the folds of my mother’s dress, safe until I felt ready to emerge. My parents taught me how to move through the world with confidence and to look to the gift of knowing people and caring for them. What choice did I have? I have been, to some degree, a public figure most of my life. I was the daughter of a high level military officer. I was the wife of a military unit commander. I became a relatively well-known bible teacher, conference leader and worked with high risk youth in summer programs. I now have been teaching yoga and presenting workshops for 22 years. I just keep ending up in the front of the room!

This must be my lifetime to balance the dichotomy of innate shyness and the gift of communicating with those on conscious healing journeys…and it is a wild and crazy ride. My personal zip line! I love my life.

The gift of someone who likes and loves me makes that balance so much easier to maintain. It opens a space for it all to be fun and for the freedom to be fearlessly me. Such a gift.

The title of this entry is an invitation rather than a challenge. I invite you to be that gift to others, even just one person. I invite you to attract and nurture those who bring this gift to you, even just one person.

Take me as I am and I will give you the same. Namaste.

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