“Here I am, yes it’s me…”

I awoke in my new home this morning with these words, from a song recorded by Lyle Lovett, repeating in my barely conscious mind. I lay still for several moments, as I tend to do, and let the world re-enter my awareness. The light was dim and I heard a bird singing outside my window. My face smiled because I love waking up to birdsong. There it was again:  Here I am, yes it’s me…

What? I had not listened to that cd since my drive a week ago to my new home. Why so clearly this morning? I stay in the stillness and softly close my eyes, letting myself feel. It slowly becomes clear to me. Here I am in a different state, different city, different home and yet nothing has changed. It is still me, waking up in my same bed, slowly feeling the day begin, listening to a bird sing outside my window, wondering where I went during the night, feeling the anticipation of writing as a new day dawns.

“Here I am, yes it’s me…”  I have created a huge transition and I am aware of the external differences: flowers and green trees and shrubbery all around me, a much smaller home, and lots of people I haven’t met yet. I am also aware of what remains the same: my precious friends and family are still a phone call away (some are physically closer while others are farther away), mountains still surround me (though the ones here are closer and greener), and I am still me!

This is a bit difficult to communicate but here goes. This is my first major transition living at this level of mindful awareness, being more present in the moment than ever before. It feels quite different physically, mentally, and emotionally. The spirit/soul experience is a constant. Yes, I have been physically tired but I find strength and stamina that surprises me. Yes, my brain throbs keeping up with all of the details a move creates but my mind is calmer and clearer than it has been in similar past experiences. Yes, my emotions have been intense over the past few months but, at the same time, they have been simple, clear and consistent with the circumstances. Nice!

I told one of my mentors, Richard Miller, years ago that an important insight for me concerned my Aquarian nature. Structure and routine are necessary for me to remain grounded and centered. Within that I need the freedom of diversity to allow my True Self to fly high and wide. For example, when I was teaching yoga full time, I created a class schedule that gave my students consistency and me diversity: Tuesdays & Thursdays were the same (2 classes each day), Mondays and Wednesdays were the same (2 classes but different hours than T & Th), and Friday held one class. Perfect for me. Diversity within structure.

This is what I am feeling this morning. Much of my life is changing in this transition and just as much of it remains the same. This works for me.

What works for you? How can you mindfully create a flow of life that meets the needs and desires of your True Self? Where do you begin? I would suggest beginning with an exploration of your levels of awareness of your True Self? Spiritually, are you living in and from your Soul? Emotionally, are you finding what balances your emotional body while allowing you to embrace life joyfully and passionately? Mentally, what keeps you present and “on top of your game” rather than getting lost in circular thinking? Physically, are you knowledgeable of the type of diet and the level of exercise and rest that supports a strong, healthy body? Experience tells me that the same thing doesn’t work for everyone in any of these areas. Thus, my suggestion of an exploration. Try on what has worked for others but choose what ultimately works best for you.

I can hear some of you sighing and thinking “Good heavens, this will take the rest of my life!” What else do you have to do with your life that is more important? The journey will be as fun as you choose to make it. It is about discovery and having a vessel that is up for whatever the game of life brings your way.


2 thoughts on ““Here I am, yes it’s me…”

  1. You share a very important centering of who and where you are no matter where you are. The journey, ever-present, continues… Thank you.


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