Life so truly is circular rather than linear. Once I began to grasp that, I could see how my life would circle back to things for healing or resolution. At times it was a literal returning to a place or person from my past in order to complete a particular circle. Other times the journey was entirely within my being as I traveled memories, found forgiveness for myself and others, and released it all to the compassion and love of the Divine.
My most recent experience of a circle bringing me around to experience healing and restoration was a sweet surprise. It involves my brother and me. I am still a bit stunned because neither of us orchestrated the opportunity and it unfolded with such ease and grace that only the Divine could have put the pieces together.
I was born into his world so I have never known a world without him in it. He was the best big brother a little girl could wish for and have. Our dad was military so, of course, we moved a lot. Our mom made every transfer an adventure to be embraced with excitement and enthusiasm. It was hard. My brother was one of the few consistencies in my young life and I adored him. Our marriages took us apart as he and my husband were in the military and we began to lose the closeness we had always known. Our mother died when I was in my late fifties and he was in his early sixties and, by then, we barely knew each other. I was rather newly divorced and free to move to be with our father. This put me in the same city with my brother as well.
The details are not important but it quickly became clear to me that life had beaten the crap out of our relationship and neither of us had a clue about how to even begin to resolve and heal it. We stumbled through the next 18 – yes, I said 18 – years unable to figure it out. There were small steps, tentative moments of honesty. We tried now and then because we love each other. We couldn’t communicate because of the wounds we both carried and didn’t know how to heal. We did the best we could.
Our father made his transition along the way and we were no closer, no easier with one another after that. My sorrow over it all brought no wisdom or insight. We just didn’t have the tools or the awareness to shift anything. Our one salvation was that we both, without telling each other, chose to not make it worse and to do the best we could to be nice to each other. I know now that we were both dealing with what we could internally, on a spiritual level. We just didn’t know how to manifest that in our relationship.
Then Divine Love stepped in, knowing that a tenderness had grown in each of our hearts that could lay it all to rest with ease. He is 73 now and I am 69. I moved to another state four months ago and there was a glimmer of this shift at that time. It confused me. Last week my sister-in-law’s mother passed away and she had to leave unexpectedly. My brother is not in good health and she called to see if I would consider staying with him part of the time she was gone. I almost fell over. My brother and I had not been alone for more than an hour since I was in college. I said I was willing because I wanted her to have peace of mind. I didn’t think he would call me but he did!
When I heard his voice, I recognized my big brother. He was telling me he wanted me to come and I went. It was surreal and what transpired over those three days was beyond what either of us could have imagined was possible. I will put this as simply as I can because the actual details are ours to cherish and hold in our hearts. We never spoke one word of any incident or perceived hurt that had occurred over the years. We shared memories of our childhood and I was able to tell him how amazing it was to grow up as his little sister. We did explore some painful things from those years. Things that many families experience because no one is perfect and even people who love each other do hurtful things. We were able to look at those things and know our parents loved us and did the best they could. No need to blame or pick at old wounds. We just acknowledged the truth and then chose to move back into the fun, loving memories.
Our last conversation brought us into the present as we shared news of our children and grandchildren. We are both very blessed and we can share that now. We spoke of the challenge of aging and hinted at our mortality but weren’t ready to go there yet. We parted with such sweetness and tenderness that I weep with joy and gratitude as I type this. The love that my brother and I shared as children is coming full circle and being restored as we face the end of this particular lifetime. I am blown away. I never dreamed it was possible but Divine Love transcends all that I can imagine, dream or hope for.
This is what I know: the Divine looks on the heart, beyond and deeper than anything I am even aware of knowing, thinking or feeling. The Divine only wants to give me/us the deepest of our Soul’s desires. My brother and I must have both held such a deep desire for healing and reconciliation that the Divine brought us separately to a place of openness that allowed us to come together without ever once “talking through” what had happened over all those years. It simply wasn’t necessary because Love truly covers a multitude of sins.
Divine Love desires our joy, our happiness, our bliss. I didn’t even know how open I was to receiving my own! How glad am I that I am not in charge of it all!
Be encouraged beyond hope, dear hearts. God never does just one thing. The unseen is always working for our highest good and the highest good of all.
Divine Love desires your joy, your happiness, your bliss.