My granddaughter is 21 months old and she is taking ballet. I go to her classes for the sheer joy of watching these little angels in what can only be described as free-style ballet! One week the teacher’s daughter was a little pushy and her daddy had a very quiet and gentle word with her. She cried and was telling him over and over again that she wanted “that.” He started to apologize as I was standing right next to them and she had a big voice…I touched his arm and said, “It’s okay. Wouldn’t the world be a very different place if we could all just say what we want?” His yes widened and we began to chat about this idea.
How often have you been disappointed or hurt because you didn’t get what you wanted, especially from someone who loves you? When you look back at those experiences, can you be sure that you were clear and that you actually let that person know what you wanted? Or did you expect the person(s) to simply know because they love you?
As with so many things, I don’t know what you want unless you tell me; I don’t know what you think unless you tell me; I don’t know what you feel unless you tell me. And listen dear hearts! I am an intuitive!!
My children and I started a tradition a number of years ago. We exchange “gift hints” near Christmas and our birthdays. Purchasing a hint item is not required; we can all do as we like but we all also have a clear starting point when we go shopping.
Relationships, yeah we need to go there for a minute. Specifically love/sexual relationships. Please tell your partner what you want? If you want to get married sooner rather than later, please don’t tell the person you are becoming more and more serious about that you aren’t in a hurry or that you don’t know if marriage is necessary. Tell them what you want and ask what they want. If it isn’t identical and love is truly a part of your relationship, this is a healthy starting place for clarity and compromise. If you have a mental “love rule book,” I beg you to explain the rules to the person you are dating or falling in love with!! One or both of you might be disappointed and have to decide about moving forward with the other but, if you are not clear with each other, one or both of you will be deeply hurt in the long run. e.g. if you want a loving partner, perhaps for life, and you know that marriage is not part of that picture, say it. Many couples experience longevity together without marriage.
Enough now. Please Just Say What It Is You Want.
I love you. Peace.