During meditation this morning, an insight filled my being and I became aware of the process of moving from believing to knowing. Believing is a function of faith and faith is often defined as believing what cannot be known or proven.
As I now perceive it, I exercise my belief in a truth through affirmations, practicing new behaviors and thought patterns, etc. When the affirmations and behaviors become a part of me and I no longer need to practice them because they are true of me, I have moved from belief to true knowing. In the Christian New Testament this knowing, in Greek, was gnosis. It is a knowing that surpasses the intellect, though it may begin there. It is a knowing that is woven into the mind and heart because it emanates from the True Self, the Soul. It is a Divine Knowing.
A simple example to say that is not always easy to come into is:
I am loved.
As a child, I was taught that God is Love. I was taught that God loves me. I was not taught how to make the journey from believing that to knowing it in the very cells of my body, in every nook and cranny of my mind, and in my heart. I learned to look outside myself for love. It is never enough. No other human being can love me enough to bring me a sense of fulfillment unless I love myself. This love of self must come because I understand and know in the depths of my being that, not only am I loved by the Divine All, I am love itself. I am loved by my Soul, the spark of the Divine in me loves and cherishes me without condition, without demand or expectation, without end.
I have believed this for most of my life and, at times, held onto this truth with clenched fists and gritted teeth because I was determined to survive. I have believed this. However, until I made the journey from belief to knowing, it was never quite enough. Through years of practice and trust in what I believed, the moment came when I felt my Soul’s love for me on every level of awareness, in every cell of my body, in every nook and cranny of my mind and my heart song reverberated with
I am loved and cherished by my Soul.
There is no exclamation point. I simply know that I am loved and cherished by my Soul, which is the spark of the Divine that is my very essence of being. Finally, I can feel what I have known all along and I can feel that it is enough. I could think it before. I could say it before. Now I can feel it.
Am I saying I have never felt this before? Nope. Seeing and feeling come in phases. There is a glimpse and gratitude and relief follow. Then thought patterns return and I return to the practice of what I believe. The times of feeling and being at peace grow longer and then thought patterns return and I practice more mindfully again. When the gnosis, the true knowing, takes hold this part of the journey is complete and my practice continues in other areas. Any return to this particular area is usually in the form of memory for the purpose of gratitude and joy or to share so that another knows I understand their journey.
Believing is the path to knowing. May your path be clear and may your journey bring you to know the wholeness, oneness and love that you are. Namaste.