I raised my children before computers and cell phones. As they began to venture out with friends, spend nights in other people’s homes, etc., I began setting boundaries, telling them to check in with me, and being sure they had change for pay phones. One of them asked me why I didn’t trust them, after all they were my children!
This is when I began to teach them why the virtue of trust and being trusted is so valuable….because it is earned. It is proven by a history of behaviors that have shown others that they would consistently do what they said they were going to do. Now that they would be making many decisions on their own, they needed to show me that they would consistently keep agreements with me and live up to the expectations those agreements created. I also taught them the agreements must be spoken and agreed upon by everyone involved, i.e. each of them and their father and me.
I remember saying to them “I don’t trust you because you exist. I will trust you because you show me that you can be trusted.” Then I reminded them that they grew to trust me because when I said I would do something, I did it. Over and over again.
Trust is not a gift. It must be earned.
May each of us find ourselves trust-worthy today. Blessings.
Good morning! Here I am with another quote from Thich Nhat Hanh’s book, The Art of Communication. The title of this blog is also the title of one section…though I added the question mark. The chapter answers my question of course and the passage below is a beautiful summary of his teaching.
Please breathe this in and be willing to sit with what he is saying. What we breathe into and embrace diminishes our resistance and makes life easier, more gentle and loving.
We all should learn to embrace our own suffering, to listen to it deeply, and to have a deep look into its nature. In doing so, we allow the energy of love and compassion to be born. When the energy of compassion is born, right away we suffer less, when we have compassion for ourselves, we can more easily understand the suffering of another person and of the world. Then our communication with others will be based on the desire to understand rather than the desire to prove ourselves right or make ourselves feel better.
I also believe that this level of understanding allows me to support others as they deal with their suffering. That support may at times be material but, most of the time, it is most powerful if I support another in their journey of embracing and understanding their suffering so that they develop compassion for themselves. This allows them to expand more fully into True Self, transcending definitions and expectations of what life “should” be.
Be blessed today, dear hearts, for you are loved.
In his book The Art of Communicating, Thich Nhat Hahn invites us to come home to ourselves by walking mindfully:
Home is the here and now, where all the wonders of life are already available. You can’t arrive fully in the here and now unless you invest your whole body and mind into the present moment. If you haven’t arrived one hundred percent, stop where you are and don’t take another step. Stay there and breathe until you’re sure you have arrived one hundred percent. Then you can smile a smile of victory. It’s probably best to do that only when you are enjoying mindful walking alone; if you are around other people, you may create a traffic jam.
You don’t need an app or an outsider to tell you whether you have arrived. You will know you have arrived because you will recognize that you’re comfortable being. When you walk from the parking lot to your office, go home in each step. Recover yourself and connect with yourself during every step. No matter where you’re going, you can walk as a free person on this planet Earth and enjoy every step.
Recover yourself. Come home to yourself.
Today, may you be blessed in the knowing you are home. May you know the comfort of be-ing.
Each morning I take a few moments to write down an intention for the day. I record my daily intention in a small notebook. Flipping through it from time to time brings me to a place of gratitude and peace.
An intention opens the mind and heart; it sets the tone for my day.
This is my intention today:
I live from the Truth of Who I Am…a spiritual being currently having a human experience.
I love this one and set it often:
I live from the Peace of my Soul.
What is your intention today?
This comment was made by Charles Dickens. Wouldn’t he be stunned by the way we communicate today! His comment more meaningful now than it was when he made it:
Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true.
The only thing I would add to his thought is that this is even more true when there is the need to resolve misunderstanding or conflict. Text message cannot communicate the tone of your voice or the feelings on your face and in your eyes.
Enough said. Blessings of love and light, dear hearts.
Trusted teachers have both taught and reminded me over the years to set an intention at the beginning of each day. Intention is a powerful energy that guides our thoughts and actions throughout the day, reminding us of the truth of who we are. Below are a few examples of intentions I have found to be supportive of my journey.
I live from the Peace of my Soul.
I Am All That I Am
I manifest the love And compassion of the Divine.
I am Peace Itself.
I Am Love Itself.
I am One with All That Is.
I like to write my intention for the day on a small whiteboard in my kitchen. Seeing it helps me to live in the moment and to be aware of my thoughts and my behavior. Few days pass that fail to bring me opportunities to live my intention fully. Sometimes the circumstance affirms the truth of my intention; other times my intention guides me into higher awareness of my own patterns. This awareness elicits either gratitude or the desire to shift what I am thinking or doing.
May your intentions be clear, true, and powerful. Namaste. Peace dear hearts.
Stop for a moment today and look at the sky. Take a deep slow breath and listen. What do you hear around you? Are you living in the moment? Are you aware of what you are thinking, feeling, and experiencing in that moment?
Why? Because this moment is all you really have.
May you be blessed with the Presence of the Divine; may you know the Truth of Who You Are.