The next day our cruise ship sailed through Glacier Bay. Things feel timeless there. We decide to find quiet places to experience this wonder-filled place. I am grateful beyond words…my face is less swollen but the virus is raging today. From my journal:
Today I am wounded…..uncomfortable…..face flaming
yet I walk the deck in the cold, 2 miles in 30 mins. Smiling. Feeling life and strength.
yet—somewhere inside is…..sadness, discouragement, deep weariness.
My faces though much less swollen is so red! Almost raw looking.
I know I must not use the mineral powder to partially disguise it today. I must let my poor skin breathe; it needs the pure, clean air here to heal.
BUT today my resiliency is gone. I feel vulnerable and exposed, as though I must protect others from the sight of me.
I sit now in a barely lit corner of the Crow’s Nest on the Observation Deck. I fought and won as I chose to leave the stateroom for the fourth time today.
I will not deny myself the vastness and grace of this place to avoid being seen.
Around the corner from where I sit, the number of voices increases and I want to leave…
not yet, though tears are just below the surface…..my sadness reflected in the gray of the sky.
My thoughts as I reflected later on what I had written:
This too shall pass in spite of how I feel in this moment.
This experience is preparing me for a new level of awareness, understanding, peace, wisdom, clarity, compassion, love of self and others.
I embrace the suffering of the moment in the hope and expectation of the gift to come❤️
If you are suffering today, my prayers are with you. May you find peace and strength in this present moment, catherine. 💫💖